ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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