She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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