I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
