Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
