I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
pray to the hookup gods
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
