ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
