Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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