put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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