We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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