I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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