Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize