i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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