I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
