:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
