Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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