sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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