Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize