time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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