Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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