Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Michael Bay diarrhea
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
