The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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