Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
