Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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