why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I understand Curling. That high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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