You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
