So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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