I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
