i barfeds in our rink
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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