for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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