Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.