My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
