If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
