Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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