ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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