I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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