when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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