Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
