i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
