Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
