fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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