..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
