Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize