Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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