Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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