Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
