I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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