I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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