i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
