winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
