He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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