weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
