Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
