So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
