small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
