you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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