This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
