ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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