Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
