Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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