put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
