i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
