I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
