OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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