my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
