i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night