are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you will always have a special place in my vag
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
