After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
