dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
