I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
