It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize