Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
