Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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